Marriage – a bliss or abyss?

Marriage – a bliss or abyss?

It is a commonly held belief and one which often gets expressed that marriage is one of the most intimate and beautiful relationships that exist in this world.

They say when two souls are tied in a nuptial knot they share special feelings, compassion, loyalty, commitment, sacrifice, and most importantly love and a blissful companionship.

There cannot be a greater and deeper feeling like love. Your heart beats faster at the mere thought of your soul-mate. Images of his/her ‘angelic’ face fill your mind no matter where you are and what time it is, intensifying your craving to be with your mate once again.

Well, I flatly rebuff all these statements since I experienced the opposite of everything I mentioned above, sadly though. No doubt, having said that, many people possess a wonderful understanding but as they say that “people reveal their true colors at your time of trial” and now I completely understand it. Similarly, my life went through some serious rough tides in recent times. I still remember the moments when my life almost came close to an end. At times, I was on the verge of a total collapse. There were very dark, confusing months that followed. It’s a helpless, frustrating feeling that consumes your mind and your entire being. The moments when you are left in constant agony and unable to even fall asleep. Thanks to the most intimate relationship.

One gets to a conclusion through experience that human beings are, after all, not as simple a creature as we had earlier believed. Not at all!

Yet, I wonder how one can change so easily after spending almost 5 years with another and I still find it hard to fathom as to what leads a person to become so opportunist? You stand shattered when the person that you loved with all your soul, who also shared same feelings for you, starts treating you as an enemy. So much so that you begin to yearn for one single sign of affection. Let alone a smile or a hug, there isn’t even a single kind word for you. You pray that one day it will all be alright and everything will come back to what it once was. You ache in a way you cannot explain, a pain that never subsides during the day and that wakes you several times at night.

I am not disrespecting anyone through this article but I am only sharing my experience. Those still unmarried may learn something from it  All I want is to tell you that no one is truly faithful to any individual or perhaps they may appear so as long as the time is right for you. But, the situation takes a 180 degree turn when the tide of times turns against you. It’s an irony that although people talk very high of love; of staying faithful and being loyal to each other but how I wish it all was true. Remember one thing: no one can claim owning you. And when someone does, it should raise an alarm in your mind.

What I have experienced so far is that majority of people are self seekers in this wicked world and it’s funny when someone leaves you during the most difficult time of your life; or when you really need them the most.

I know there are exceptions and if you have found the right one who can surely stand by you during your good and, more importantly, bad times then there is nothing like that and I advise you to be extra kind to them. I would say you have literally found the most precious treasure!

Parting ways might seem like it would resolve certain problems, but it leaves you mired in an entirely a new set of troubles. Perhaps you’ll feel better, perhaps not, but either way such actions by any partner may foist upon the entire family a set of logistical and emotional struggles. The impacts of such separations are long-lasting, in fact they last a lifetime.

Nevertheless, all the people who thought they saw a spark of hope in me or those who said I couldn’t make it. My self-esteem comes from knowing that I not only beat the odds, I knocked them out of the ballpark. I made all of those people who reached out to me proud; and surprised those who thought I couldn’t. My family is my security. They keep on reminding me that life is good and no matter what challenges come my way, the sun will still shine in the morning and they will still be there to help me through. My strength is my faith in God and my friendly buddy father. I do not always feel up to the things. But with prayer and time, I am able to meet these challenges head-on.

Don’t forget one rule of thumb in your life that an effort to develop understanding with the life partner is a forever thing in your marriage. So don’t be too hard on yourself — or him or her — during the times when you are struggling to make sense of it all.

Navyd Nafys: An ex-banker and a supply chain professional in an international FMCG. He tweets @MohammadNavyd

  • M.Saeed

    Adam and Eve were sent from the Paradise to strive and live the way provided and raise real human children each of which should be a leader of the generation emanating from him/her. This is only possible if the institution of marriage is based upon simple principles, most essentials of which are:
    1) Never rein your feelings of nascent love to marriage because that leads you to your exploitation by the other party not being compatible because, what you are doing today for winning your target, tomorrow you will realize that, you were being careless and were being exploited.
    2) Never marry under the following considerations:
    —in sympathy,
    —in return of gratitude,
    —in barter for return of some family favors,
    —under obligation.
    —under any situation of sentimental exploitation.
    —or any condition contrary to the normal way of life ordained
    3) Never marry without making sure about the suitability of family traits and medical history for avoiding multiplication of ailing trends.
    4) Make sure before marriage about the customs and involvements being within the means and resources and where the social status is not much different, etc.

  • Sarah

    Good well articulated! You r one hell of a strong person.

  • Anonymous

    Great job my brother, I hope you find peace with someone at some point in your life.

  • Madiha

    a good piece. But what i think is that it has its good as well. Marriage with love, care and respect is nothing more than a heavenly blessings on earth! This is a win-win. and in our society we do have the other family members as well around whom the couple waste their beautiful times. Well, this is all about Respect. and respect never be one way train! This is a beautiful relationship but we have spoiled this with our own lack of courage and patience!

  • Saima Rashid

    you justified your point, gudluck!

  • Shahid Hussain Abro

    After going through ur article, It feels as if somebody has stolen my personal diary… I often felt, owing to my own inescapable marital problems, that perhaps fault lies widin me, that I haven’t handled my relation maturely. But, ur article has thwarted away all such sentiments n concluded wid affirmance that such soulless ppl actually dwell in this world. Great article bro…