9 Things Girls hear in Love Marriages only


9 Things Girls hear in Love Marriages only

Wallah, if you’re lucky enough to find true love in just one person after having rummaged half the world across and after scoring a few grey hair in your pony, don’t think it’s the end of the problem. Well, other than the case where you might want to be in more than just in a live-in relationship or a secret affair, and hoping to walk down the isle with the love of your life, expect an array of non-ending stumps and bumps down the road.

 

And who would make sure, you ride this roller-coaster? Parents- not the girl’s, Guy’s. Girl’s parents happen to be a much milder version of any potential problem on the roar; it’s usually the guy’s mother,- the eternal villain in the love triangle of Girl-Guy and Guy’s mother. Top it with cheese, if she happens to be the gharelo-jhagralo sort, she finds her enemy-radar shifted from her susralis to evergreen Dushman to be- her son’s girl.

 

And even after she has apparently given up her resolve to never let her son marry the one he loves, she just keeps on trying and trying and….But before you could even experience a brief respite, brace yourself to listen to the nine stereotype dialogues you and your dude would just have to hear.

 

 

1.      Uff..The girl swept my boy away:

 

Black Magic, Vodoo dolls or adabra cadabra- you’re the girl with a brewing cauldron and the broomstick! And in no time, you can officially become the trigger for another series of witch trials. Her son, her very innocent son, who she had brainwashed to like only her right from his childhood can only fall in love with a witch. How else could you explain him hankering after the girl and lavishing his attention, that are purely and supremely the mother’s! No way! Be ready if you see your man wearing a talisman on your next meet-up, and don’t be surprised- it’s to ward you off.

 

 

2.      I could get him way better girls than this one

 

And once it’s proven that it is biologically and psychologically possible that he has cut the umbilical chord to tie a nuptial knot, it worries the poor mother how this ugly-duckling be her son’s choice. “You’re so handsome and so smart, and for you I can get you the prettiest and youngest girls ever known to world, if you could only let go of this “shame-on-girlhood”. Yeah right, that sounds more pimpy than motherly. Trust me, she’ll see a monster in any potential lover you might ever have. And for the young part- either she thinks her boy’s still playing in his cradle or perhaps he’s a pervert and after high-school girls.

 

 

3.      My boy’s too pricy:

 

Any MBA from IBA or even from Allama Iqbal Open University has his “rate” way higher than what any middle-class girl could ever afford. Yeah- how much could he possibly bag in the free market? Cars, bungalows, loadsa money and not to forget the green jail card! (With his high-rates, he could only be bagged as a call boy, nothing more) Haha. Well, that’s why they say; guy’s mothers are usually excellent businesswomen. Who else could trade her son for material wealth and prosperity?

 

4.      Girl’s mother’s cleverer than a witch:

 

Yeah, this one is a hit formula. Despite the fact that she might herself be a full-blown b****, she fears a witch, middle name for the girl’s mother. The mother-daughter wicked duo that laid one fine trap for her son and would soon lure away whatever little’s left of him now,  and so needs to be exorcized so her and her son’s life to be purged of a curse forever. She’d make up things on her behalf, cry some fake tears and would lie incessantly just to prove how she has been disrespected and demeaned by the girl’s mother. Oh poor she, she’s as innocuous as a bat. Lol

 

 5.     She’s a girl with a head? How could she be the perfect bahu?:

 

In case a girl is more than just a declared playmate; a box of make up or a perky, pretty face, and has got brains and acumen in that usually otherwise vacant-skull, she’s in a big problem. Her every word would be twisted and perverse other way round, her educated opinion would be taken for disrespect and her frankness becomes her over-modernity. A perfect prospective bahu is a dumb, deaf and blind vessel, who doesn’t show any human colors until after the wedding night.

 

 

6.     My boy always take her side:

 

And when the guy tries to tell his mommy that his girl’s more than an average dumbster and that the girl’s mother does not come from a line of dark witches, she taps her head hard and cries how you always take the girl’s side now. A guy torn between a overly-demanding mother and a humiliated lover is simply a chewing gum that gets stretched until it breaks down.

 

7.      My Son has changed!:

 

The above is followed by a you-have-changed rant. Of course, he’s no longer a breast-fed, chuckling infant and has a girl he sees his future and present with, in his life. Only a stone wouldn’t change. But for every mood swing he has- a trigger for it would be herself only, the blame comes on the girl. She’s responsible for turning a toddler into beast; and must be cursed and puked upon.

 

 8.     Do whatever you want to, I’m dying soon anyway:

 

Ultimate blackmail and by the way it always works. A desperate mother is the best manipulator. She has manipulated her sons all her life and here’s the final stroke. Some would go to as much as a fake, pseudo illness, one in which she might will against her son’s marriage with the girl. If son needs his mother alive, he better be her puppy or else…

 

9.      You Guys will never be happy ever-after:

 

 

Oh no. In the end, if none of her pervert reasons and tactics work on the girl she’ll give her son the mother’s curse- the deadliest weapon against son. “ If a mother’s not happy with her son, he shall never prosper”. It’s more of an angry greek god speaking than a mother, her words reflect divine judgment and doom. Well the truth is, she’s one desperate woman, who’d go to whatever extent it takes to do the duo apart.

 

In the end, you can be sure; a son’s mother is another specie walking on the face of earth like a human. If sons can have Oedipus complex, their mothers have female version of it (don’t know how Freud missed a name for that). Especially for mothers in sub-continent, sons are more lovers than sons, and love marriage calls for a marathon between the same sexes that end up in the destruction of the other sex- Man!

 

 



Madeeha Ishtiaque

The content writer & person-in-charge of the The News/Geo International Blog. She monitors the social media activity on The News. Follow her on twitter @charmed0000


  • Shaf

    Too cheesy and you are just a frustrated person. Please grow up.

  • NASAH (USA)

    Where is Qalim sb — we miss him — hope he is not getting married — if so he must have previewed this article before leaving.

    Great piece Madeeha — very true.

  • Abdul Hafeez

    An Ashiq should not let her Mashooqa down after marriage and find a solution to these 9 things. I think a guy always wants to see his love happy. Also i think, a mother depicted in this write-up is rarely found.

    • maryam kyshwer

      ahan???? you should look more closely ..these type of MILs exist and as a fact only this kind exists….some just say it out loud others do wazeefas ..

      you hear them all the time in an arranged marriage as well.

  • asd

    ohh please where do u live i guess its the prob in your house and you just make it public…..

  • Anees Sanam

    Never Mind: Somehow same in arrange marriages :P

  • M.Saeed

    Best solution lies in a very simple trick.
    The son must ask his mother to search and get a “Bahu”, that qualifies on all of her specifications and—-and remains so during her entire life! After his marriage, she should never complain about any of shortcomings in Bahu because, it would amount to her own failure and breach of trust. The son should make it well understood before-hand by his mother that, in any such eventuality in future, she would have only herself to blame for failure in her own capabilities in making right judgements.
    Now, let one thing be clear to the son also. You cannot have “ChoupriaN tey dou dou”. Have to be content with one!

    • NASAH (USA)

      Thar depends upon how ‘qualified’ the son is on all specifications and remains so during his entire life.

  • M.Saeed

    According to a wise man of the West, what India desperately needs today is, five years of ruthless dictatorship, for getting rid of its filthy-selfish rulers. That is what I mean by terror to Congress.
    Not for Pakistan but, Modi is now the problem No.1 for India. His governing policies are geared more to Gujarat than India.
    History is dynamic and ruthless. Three out of the four most powerful and important Indians in fight for Independence from the British in 1947 were— Jinnah, Gandhi and Patel, all Gujaratis. But then, religious divides and caste differences were not there and Gujarati leaders had dominated India on merits. Not the case any more now. Congress is playing Muslim-card and might over-play it.
    In any case, Modi is oblivious of the fact that, India can only be governed from Delhi and not from Gandhinagar.

    • Raj Chouhan

      Where is the moderator? This post of Saeed’s Sb. pertains to ” Is it hard to give peace a chance?” article.

      • Jamal

        May be he (Saeed Sb) wants to relate ‘Saas/Bahu’ never-ending disputes with ‘India/Pakistan’ ?

  • Raj Chouhan

    Wah Madeeha Maza Aaya. Same culture , same tu tu main main, same thinking of Saas and Bahus, same food, same tastes, same DNA. But unfortunately we still treat ourselves enemies.

    You have reminded me my old days, ours is also a love marriage and that also 27 yrs back, I know how my wife managed with my mother.

    Very entertaining article, keep it up Madeeha, God bless you.

    RAJ

    • Jamal

      sheesh ! you just told your age and family issues to the whole world :)

  • Jamal

    These issues are everywhere irrespective to culture, religion and love/arrange marriages. If someone disagrees then he/she should look at the picture ‘Monster in law’ (mother in law). To resolve all this, PATIENCE is the key for Bahu and husband of the same ‘bahu’ as time takes its course..

  • Farooq Hashmi

    Every Saas, was sometime a Bahu, and every Bahu will sometime,be a Saas.

    • Anonymous

      Hashmi Sb

      With progress, somethings are no longer a certainty, hence ‘every Bahu (may possibly) sometime, be a Saas.’

  • Ali

    Save yourself the money and the mental agony by staying single. Curb your sexual urges by getting involved in some philanthropic work. Too much inflation these days.

  • Faraz

    Hmm…. let me summarise… 1-Love marriages are good ( no issues ) 2- Girls who go for love marriage are with brains (not sure). Son is the victim of his mother since childhood (disagree). 3 Newly wed couples are care free and most innocent. Mother of the son is teh pholan devi that creates all the drama. …

    Yet another approach towards promoting other culture and encouraging disrespect for elders….

  • Raj Chouhan

    And what about with your right hand :)

  • Anonymous

    Ever since Eve coaxed Adam! yet another proof that men – stuck between a rock and a hard place – are like putty in the hands of women.

    Will there ever be an acknowledgement that it is really the women who rule everything through their men proxies and when things go wrong, proxies get the blame! Very clever indeed despite their self depracation that they are the stupid ones to carry all that (man) weight for 9 months.

    Questions about of men’s sanity ought to arise instantaneously when they attempt to claim four women for the nest – would any sane man want to do that after reading Madeeha’s blog?!

    • M.Saeed

      “Eve coaxed Adam” to defy the Allah’s directive and was expelled from Heavens to Earth. On that account Sir Syed Ahmad Khan in one of his writings had called Adam: “Woh pehla gunehgaar insaan”, for which he was taken seriously tasked by the Ullema-e-Hind brigades.

      • NASAH (USA)

        If Sir Syed thought Adam was the “Pehla gunahgaar” — the meaning of the word “Gunah gaar” takes an entirely different meaning — innovator, curious, researcher, tester, taster, scientist.

        Just imagine if Adam was conventional enough to OBEY and NOT taste the apple!!!!! — well we wouldn’t be writing this on the Internet.

        And do you think God did not want us to experience Internet?

  • M.Saeed

    Female circumcision (spaying) and male neutering (castrating), both also called fixing??

    • Anonymous

      Tree cheers for test tubes and cloning!

  • M.Saeed

    There is a famous African saying which means, “every new wife makes a man younger by 20 years”.
    In some Muslim Countries, Muslim clerics preach that, not marrying 4 wives is “rejection of the gifts of Allah” and therefore a sin (Kufraan-e-Neamat”.
    But, Quran says, your wife is your robe of honour.

  • Anonymous

    NASAH Sb

    Seems there is some confusion in understanding the difference between culture and what faith rituals are. Which leads to further confusion with recent Arabisation of Islam in the sub-continent.

    Seems our Aristotle Jr is hard pushed to accept that culturally the Hindus and Muslims of the sub-continent will always be much closer to each other (millenia of shared values versus a millenium of …….) than Muslims of the Sub-continent could ever hope to be with those of te Middle East. Perhaps the plight and trwatment of those unskilled workers in the gulf and Saudia Arabia has not seeped through to some yet.

    • M.Saeed

      If one confidently believes and trusts in righteousness of his religious Faith, then there is no room left to accommodate any ritual exercises in place of real submission in prayers.

      • NASAH (USA)

        That is a BIG BIG if.

    • Ibn-Arastoo Ibn-aflatoon Ibn-B

      Dear Sirs,

      We are not for “Arabisation” or “Islamisation” but between “Hinduisation” or “Africanisation” or “Orientalisation” some people will pick the better option. In this day and age the ideal ofcourse is “westernization” and modernization.
      Yes we know of the plight of the unskilled workers in the Mideast (Kindly do not assume) and we wish that even the Mideast had gardens filled with rivers and snow covered fir trees and the laborer’s burdens lightened. The Arabs are flawed but they are closer to the West and are more upright in truthful in their ways than the Hindus. The Arabs are nice to the Pakistanis (as well the as the Hindus but we may lay a claim to a brotherhood with them because we follow the religion of peace, simplicity and love? no?). The Hindus are flawed but they abstain from hurting or harming animals (which is admirable).

      Let us take the best customs from everywhere , from the far corners of the world, shall we ? Is that too much to ask ? to learn from the four corners whatever is best and to then distribute all the good things to our people so our people too are become fair, tall, comely, free and happy?
      The author of this article is making a plea for love , let us side with love over family and religion and region and culture , shall we?
      Let us give our youth freedoms to love, to date, to have their own homes and their own cars and lives so that they can make a new identity instead of being oppressed by their elders and the orthodoxy?
      Let us keep our minds on good , wholesome and virtuous things Sirs and let us give our and other generations a chance!
      Our loyalties are not with religion, family, culture, country , region but it is with what is true and right and good no matter the religion, the family, culture, country, region. Our loyalties are not with our lovers but our loyalties are with what is true , right and good (that is why we are allowed divorce, right?).

  • M.Saeed

    Now, this is where you erred despite being a medical expert. As I have often maintained and still believe that, the “Two Nation” Theory” is even applicable here. Hindu herbivore cow worshippers and Muslim carnivore beef eaters, must have separate strains of dysentery bacteria.

    • NASAH (USA)

      If they are ‘handling’ the same cow and the same vegetable from the same subcontinent — ONE nation theory — if from Saudi Arabia TWO nation theory.

      The dysentery bug flourishes endemically as a hand to mouth to anus to hand to mouth – circular disease — and anything one handles — between the market and the home.

  • Sameer Wasi

    Well well, the writer of this article has said it all. This happens in almost every house in our society. I mean a fair skinned nice looking handsome boy gets a slightly dark skinned but beautiful tall girl, educated and of good nature. but then what happens, the boy’s mother “Ayay hayay beyta, yeh kya hai ? iss se main achi laa kar dey sakti houn and the khalazaat phuppizaat blah blah blah etc.” starts and keeps on going till the boy either tells his mother to be quiet or leaves.

    Let the love marriage be, dono agar khush hain to khush rehney do. Unfortunately, the Star Plus style interference still remains :( .