A Comparsion Between Rehman Malik and Darth Vader

A Comparsion Between Rehman Malik and Darth Vader

“They were dressed like Star Wars characters,” said the (currently in the process of being) former minister of interior two years ago, talking about the terrorists who attacked the Mehran navy base, or maybe he was talking about the guests at a wedding he was attending, nobody’s exactly sure.


But since he made the infamous reference, a lot of comparisons have been drawn between the interior minister and the Lord of the Dark Side, leader of the Sith, bringer of death, destruction and bad Hollywood prequels, Darth Vader.


The comparison makes sense too. Both Rehman Malik and Darth Vader started off as low level intelligence officers, working for honour, justice and the minimum wage. Disgruntled with their lack of opportunities and receding hairlines, both joined up with evil emperors to quash their former allies, and assume senatorial posts in the oppressive administration.


Darth Vader was given a huge ship and made commander of the Death Star. Rehman Malik was given a new wardrobe and made commander of Zardari’s DVD collection.


Clothes were very important for both men, they were symbolic of the power and stature they enjoyed. While Darth Vader walked around in imperious black robes and a motorcycle helmet, Rehman Malik displayed his vibrant dynamism, and colour blindness, by donning a dizzying array of brightly coloured ties.


Both men were renowned for their cruelty. Vader towards the his subordinates, Malik towards the English language. Both had a hard time fighting against insurgents. Vader was frequently locked in mortal combat against the rebellion lead by his own son; Malik too was locked in his room once by his own son, over some dispute on pocket money. It’s tough being a father in this day and age.


Vader tempted the rebel leaders with power and wealth, Malik too offered a free pardon to Taliban leaders should they mend their ways, their shoes and their facial hair.


Vader was a cult figure of hate and fascination for an entire generation, so is Rehman Malik. Vader wore a suit everywhere he went, so does Rehman Malik. Vader could choke people to a horrible death with the wave of one hand, Rehman Malik could choke people to a laughing death with the airwaves of one press conference.


People often had trouble understanding what Vader was saying, because of the mask, the same with Rehman Malik. Vader hated the Jedi. The minister hates Jaidis too, he’s a Malik after all. Vader was tall, dark and not handsome. Malik is short, pudgy and not handsome. They still manage to find something in common, the ‘not handsome’.


There is however one very important difference between these two legendary figures of evil. Vader wanted to destroy the world, Rehman Malik seems content just destroying Pakistan.

Ali Moeen Nawazish

Youth Ambassador, Geo and Jang Group

  • Safeer

    Ali Nawazish can call someone ugly! Hahahahah

  • naseem

    excellent blog… befitting comparison!

  • S Nasrullah

    The last two lines of your Blog says it all: ” There is however one very important difference between these two legendary figures of evil. Vader wanted to destroy the world, Rehman Malik seems content just destroying Pakistan.”

    While there is plethora of similarities between the two evils, there was only one difference that the blogger could perceive and pen -Darth had a large canvas, being the product of Hollywood brain, while Shaitan Mailk in his miniaturized obfuscation was conceived by the Lollywood brawn.

    Zardari had many counterfeit coins in his pocket that he used in the commerce of his brigand wheeling dealing to prolong his tenure and yet enrich his coffers abroad.

    Elections 2013 is a wake-up call for the slumbering Nation to exercise their franchise to vote conscientiously, honestly and judiciously. Their predicaments are self inflicted wounds and they know who and what caused it. And they know full well that Pakistanis have the unsurpassed will and vitality to rebound back from any crisis. With a positive change in the Leadership, the nation would unitedly march forward to its destined glory – come what may.

    With Clown AZ and his Court Jesters vanished from the scene, a new breed of enlightened, energetic and enthusiastic youth would snap to the front to materialize the vision of their dynamic Leader, Imran Khan. As a first priority, they would stamp out the murderous mayhem from the country to usher in an era of Peace and tranquility, critical to presage progress and prosperity, to dispel and disprove the perverted precepts of Pakistan as a failed State.

  • http://www.facebook.com/umer.pk Umer Hamid Enam

    Volta batteries…. more like it!

  • Anonymous

    Wasn’t Darth Vader a good and a Jedi before crossing over to the dark side?! So what comparison…..

  • ABC123

    before u call someone not handsome how abt checkin out yourself in the mirror fatty!

  • M.Saeed

    “——as good as a comparison between a chimpanzee and Einstein!”