It’s ironic how despite being one of the most respected professions, it is often looked down upon. Forget about what people underscoring its importance as a profession, instead think about how a teacher is treated in its own sphere most of the time.
Let’s have a quick look at the eccentric teaching criteria, one that resembles more with a slave’s than a teacher’s; and judge how ‘misery’ is a teacher’s middle name!
1) Employers best pick -Teacher who Asks for the Least Sum: Yes, a teacher should ideally be worth lower than even a hairdresser on a footpath. By the way, this is one good tip to be employers first and only pick. Be incompetent, know you deserve the least and ask for a clerk’s salary, why wont you be hired!
2) Make teaching your last job: True that! Every other thing is important but teaching in the classroom. If you’re willing to get into all the extra curricular activities; organizing events, training students for a competition, or just anything, than you are the apple of management’s eye. If you’re Just a teacher, who just teaches good in the class, huh, what good are you! Next please!
3) What’s your take on filling the copy? : The primary job of a teacher is to get students to fill their copies. After all, that’s the evidence of your hardwork with students. What can’t be seen, can’t be taught! After all we have to ‘satisfy parents’ that their child Has done something! Yeah right, instead, tell parents to shake up their kid’s brains to see if something has gone into it, rather than viewing a lousy piece of paper as an evidence of the kids understanding.
4) Can you maintain pin-drop silence in their class: No? Oh, you’re a bad bad teacher, actually not a teacher at all. A teacher is supposed to have an experience as a warden in a boy’s hostel to learn ‘class-control’. Yes, you need to learn the art of taming ruthless, rowdy, aimless and disrespectful kids to silence. How else will you teach? …umm..sorry..what did you say…?why is it your headache?…because you’re a damn teacher!
5) Can you please and charm students: Sure, if you have capability of pleasing and ‘satisfying’ kids their parents, you’re the one! If you cant, sorry we can’t afford ‘customers dissatisfaction’! Next! (P.s- PR companies are usually run by ex-school owners.)
6) Your timings are 5 hours but how much extra can you give: We are a nation in love with extras! Extra pounds, extra money, extra hours! Your loyalty, concern and sincerity to the school is judged on how much extra can you give to it. Or are you a selfish teacher who comes dot 8 and leaves dot 2?
7) Are you attuned to say ‘Yes’?- This is the foremost sign of a good employee. A No automatically means your signing for treason. You’ll be scorned at, looked down upon, and treated more like a traitor who has betrayed his own home.
8)How many periods can you take: Less? Why?…you have to read up for lectures? Why do you have to…lazy, unproductive employee! Why does he have to read up before the class! Silly! Another reason? Checking copies…? What? That’s your homework to carry piles of correction home and bring them all red. Remember, the more donkey you can be, the more worth you have.
9) A good planner is a sign of good teaching: Your planner is your copy to fill. The more filled it is, the better you’re planned. You have to change markers for headings, write as much as you can, and submit it every weak on time, otherwise the ‘management’ would be surely pissed of with you.
10) A teacher does NO mistake: When you enter into teaching, remember to de-humanize yourself. There’s no place for errors in this field. One error and the enemy’s bullet can kill you. If I’m exaggerating then at least the scolds, public insults, and humiliation you’ll face for being so incapable and incompetent would kill your self-respect and eventually you.
So, people if you fit this criteria, welcome to teaching!