Pakistani Men and their Stare

Pakistani Men and their Stare

“The way men in Pakistan look at women is just revolting- it’s as if they are salivating. They just can’t wait to get their hands on them,” said a male friend on a recent trip back from Pakistan.


I instantly dismissed his condescending sweeping generalisations and thought no more of it. But this week, it all came back to me. I was forced to think about his observations after the lid was taken off a grotesque can of worms.


Last week, nine men mostly of Pakistani origin were sentenced by a court in Liverpool for sexually exploiting and systematically abusing underage vulnerable white school girls.


During the six hours of videotaped testimony one of the victims said she’d been lured inside the take away shop by the men with drinks, a phone card, something to eat- and made to feel “pretty”  before eventually being asked to “pay for”  the vodka with sex.


At first, I thought this would probably involve a ‘group of lads’ but when I saw their faces I was rendered speechless. The men were taxi drivers, takeaway workers and a religious teacher aged between 24 and 59, many of them married with children of their own too.


Since then, much has been written by the British press both the tabloid and broadsheets alike and various investigations have been launched into why these vulnerable girls from “chaotic” and “council estate” backgrounds were let down. But all of them have been very cautious of accentuating this into a race or religion issue.


In spite of all that, I cannot stop myself from thinking that this case has a lot to do with ethnicity.


Alyas Karmani, an Imam and psychologist from Bradford who has worked for the Department of Education and also was a one-time head of race equality for the Welsh Assembly says, ” Many British Pakistani men live in two worlds. The first is encompassed by family, business and the mosque. It is a socially conservative culture where patriarchs and matriarchs have huge influence and where there is no toleration of sex outside of marriage and little emphasis on sexual gratification.


“Many are emotionally browbeaten into marrying a cousin from their family’s village in north-west Kashmir from which the forefathers of Bradford’s Asian community originate. In contrast to that, the second world is the over-sexualised English lifestyle where women are scantily clad, binge drinking is the main form of entertainment and porn is an acceptable outlet.”


Alyas’s viewpoint doesn’t differ much from the former Labour MP for Keighley Ann Cryer, who in 2003 said: ” Pakistani men are exploiting local children because they had married, or been promised in marriage, to someone they’ve never met, some cousin from their village in Mirpur who is almost certainly illiterate and hasn’t got anything in common with them.”


This makes me wonder if lack of education and say in personal life choices, inter-family marriages and the demeaning attitudes towards the display of  affection between couples are just some of the factors that have lead to the horrendous ordeal.


When we look at the numbers, men involved in grooming underage girls on the streets we find that of the18 child sexual exploitation trials since 1997 – in Derby, Leeds, Blackpool, Blackburn, Rotherham, Sheffield, Rochdale, Oldham and Birmingham, most of those convicted were of Pakistani heritage.


Figures compiled by The Times also show that of the 56 people found guilty of crimes of  rape, child abduction, indecent assault and sex with a child, 53 were Asians of which 50 were Muslim and a majority were British Pakistanis whilst most of the victims were white.


The judge, Gerald Clifton who sentenced the gang also gave credence to the existence of ‘cultural implications’ when he said: “All of you treated the victims as though they were worthless and beyond respect and you did that because they were not a part of your community or religion.”


But what has really enraged and infuriated me is the number of community leaders who have come out to condemn this horrific and ghastly crime with the exception of The Ramadhan Foundation, Muslim Council of Britain and a few other – the rest have thought it wise to bury their heads in the sand and let the awkward questions and storm abate.


Sadly, the  nail in the coffin was hammered in by the chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, Trevor Phillip who commented that any attempts to claim that race was not a factor in the Rochdale sexual grooming case are “fatuous” – and that neatly sums up the point I’m trying to make.


For those that disagree, I know such cases take place in other communities too but for now the British Pakistan community has been singled out as one who turns a blind eye simply because the girls concerned come from a different background.


Nevertheless, what most people have failed to notice is that all the men involved are  first-generation immigrants who came to the UK as adults which makes me hope that greater amounts of  ‘integration’ into the wider community will alter perceptions of Pakistani men and prevent them from viewing white women, in the words of Jack Straw as ‘easy meat’.


But in the end, the real loss has been the bewilderness and bafflement of  the generation born and brought up here as they begin to question their association with the country their parents are from.



Anaam Raza

An assistant editor at The News London desk and a journalism and economics graduate from City University,London.

  • Maamer1

    i strongly condemn this artical. Disappointingly either my dear sister hand work is either merely hear a say and or laptop based work. Surely No appropriate research work was done and foot steps of Sharmeen Chenai’s cheep publicity been followed. Kindly do some research. I take this an offensive and slander on Pakistani community.
    One will find certainly one’s place with one at the day of judgement to whom one please, glorify and or serve one agenda.
    Last but not least, when it comes to convicted statistics, please do not highlight one off figures.
    Please find the Rape statistics of Britain and West etc. Statistics of sex, pedophiles, sex offenders, sex and child abuse in churches. Where new born babies Mass graves were found and discovered. I would surely like to see an artical on any among them and must highlight the community strings.
    When it comes to convictions, simply i would say-Dr. Afia sentenced for alleged Terrorism, alleging for raising guns on an American soldier in Afghanistan but Nato and Americans had have been killing innocent Palestinians, Iraqies, Afghnies and Pakistanies mainly in North west.
    Role and Justification of Guantanamo bay etc etc.
    You are humbly requested, Look before you leap.
    May ALLAH Almighty grant you wisdom and clear vision.

    • Wazir K

      So true.
      Bashing everything about Pakistan and Pakistanis has become a fashion for today’s columnists. Equal amount of positive image building should also be undertaken by them if they owe anything to the country they belong to and how much it has given to them.

      • Guest

        The Problem I see with Pakistanis that they make themselves blind to every wrong things pointed on them and don’t try to interroget themselves and correct it.Even google has claimed that pakistan is a country who had maximum searched for porn sites.But they think that they are great and canot be wrong.Every time allah will come and amend the things.First u need to change urself and then god will do anything else.Be the change and don’t be blind

  • Haroon72

    young girls in UK or west get pregnant at this age. It was not a rape. I am not justifying this act from these devils. But in their society it is nothing new.

  • Noname

    Please dont call them asians, call them what they are muslim pakistani. As other asian community such as indian or chinese were never ever convicted in such a large number. Shame on pakistanis for bringing bad name not just to islam but asians also!

  • butt

    Better say “Desi Men and their Stare.”
    For Go sake –stop pakistan bashing!

  • Haniahaq

    It seems that some Pakistani’s whether there are in Pakistan or outside it are carrying on with a mindset that lacks true respect for females while at the same time performing the rituals of their religion and paying customary lip service.
    You see the name itself ”Pakistani” derived from the term ”Pak” i.e pure- one should expect the highest standards of moral behaviour -but instead you have the opposite. Hypocrisy has become the hallmark of many many Pakistani’s that want to have the best of both worlds- unfortunately and these rotten apples are giving those of their countryfolk which are decent and civilised a bad name.
    Unless you have a culture that conciously teaches and demonstrates to males from a young age starting with the parents in the home and outside it that they should respect all women regardless of race and NOT support the sort of mentality of ”its ok she’s a kafir so it’s ok to do whatever , (never mind the fact that I am a Muslim man and I am accountable for my own actions)- this sort of phenomenon is going to rear it’s ugly head again.

  • Alizafar61

    Miss Anam Raza befor pointing at some one make sure your hands are clean first who do you support? obviously British your article has no basis if you make the ground of this act as getting married back home let me tell you 95% mirpur is in England and you will be on of them and how did they come here as we all know most of them got married to british born Pakistani origin girls so at least do some research and base your comments on realistic grounds and if you are ashamed of your association with Pakistan why do not you convert yourself into a proper British which you can not be as British won’t accept you lolz as this is a issue of sick people there is existence of sick people in every community your so called British community has so many sick people e.g breaking into a house of a old lady who is about 89 yrs old and beating her up is British civilisation come on grow up Anam Raza I ain’t got time to waste on your pathetic article so please grow uppppp

  • B Ally

    By and large Pakistani community in UK fully enjoys the benefits of living in West but makes very little effort to integrate and respect the values of the society in which they live and flourish.

    In order to fit in, new generation will have to break away from values of their parents Village and integrate by practising universal values of mutual respect and equality in their day to day life instead of treating their hosts as a trash.

  • Annie Waraich

    The writer has good intentions and is pointing towards a serious problem that the Pakistani people really need to address, but she has not provided the real reasons behind these abominable habits. Men anywhere should not stare at women. Why this is a dominant problem in Pakistan is mainly due to the lack of proper education and ethical values. I know that being a Muslim country we are shocked when this type of vulgar behavior is observed whether inside the country or abroad, but we should observe the ground realities too. First of all in our culture there is this perception that boys can do anything and they won’t be harmed by their actions. This thinking leads to consequences such as the writer has indicated in this article. Parents often put much more moral restrictions on their daughters than their sons. The Pakistani society is extremely lenient with males when they act in vulgar way in their interactions with the opposite sex. So, in addition to other measures, unless the males of our nation are also made to realize their moral responsibilities in a society along with the girls, by their parents, friends and society, I don’t think this problem is going anywhere.

  • Anonymous

    Kabhi karte the khatam burai ko ye…………Blame the mirror for showing an ugly face and break it! That should solve all the problems with muslims and Pakistani men…..then it will be everyone elses fault!

  • Soccer110mb

    Just a cheap publicity stunt, Anum , Are you are another Maya Khan? you have to apologize to Pakistani Nation for such a disgraceful act.

    • george

      why should she. It is you who should apologise for being ignorant.

  • M.Saeed

    Than you Qalim Sb. My contention is simple. Analysing and giving judgement based upon the ill-founded behaviour of a few “bad-eggs” of the society living in an “unnatural” to them environs, cannot be extended to formulate a generalised opinion about the whole nation they belong to.
    What I stated about life in West was based upon study of reports in which serious concerns had been shown by the Western analysts about the rapidly deteriorating moral decadence in youth living in their society.

    Our people of the type “Kawa challa hans ke chaal”, as I have often observed during my visits abroad to many countries, are definitely carried faraway (–apni chal bhee bhool giya) by the lustful attractions of sinful activities (according to our yardsticks) allowed by their society, without even raised eye-brows.

    Therefore, some of our people get infatuated by the lust and lack of restraint from their alien society, get encouraged in indulging activities like Anaam has mentioned

  • Farhan

    Columnist should be given a chance to express on the basis of his/her analytical thinking not because of his/her fluency of written English using abused verbage for the mass public. Not everyone is columnist except the one who could raise the subject-matter which has some value in it, not like this article which seems to be junk providing no direction nor adding any value to anyone.

  • Yahyak_as

    most of pakistani men r just pathetic perverts


    This is what happens when boys play with boys — and the girls with girls — and the twain shall not meet till the wedding night — with a protuberant belly nine months later.

  • Jeeja-ji

    Bravo Anum!! Three cheers for you.You called a spade a spade among these hypocrites.
    Guys try to understand ” every Pakistani man is not pervert , but unfortunatly in the given cases 99% perverts are Pakistani.So you should held nothing against her.She is just holding a mirror to society.But then again some perverts came back to comment on this blog.Keep it up Anum….Regards.

  • Honest

    This is a very thought provoking article. The real issue is of moral values. The thinking of some of the men in Pakistani society is the same. This is the duty of religious scholars, who can pursue the people to prevent from sin, but unfortunately, our mullahs are busy in grabbing the political power and to decide who is Kafir ? They should work together to teach the moral values to the Nation.

  • M.Saeed

    First stare is accidental, but second stare is intentional. It is the intention that makes it right or wrong.

  • Patriotic

    Whatever the authors meant to say, I have realized something form the negative feedback for this article. A famous Urdu proverb, CHOR KI DHARHI MEIN TINKA.
    I agree staring is common to men all over the world, but in the west, most men stare at women who are not dressed modestly or are dressed intending to attract men. However, Pakistani men donot even leave those who are fully covered and their torturing gaze ensures the lady has flown completely out of their sights.
    Pathetic to see them in that state, when thye forget someone else othe than Allah also observes them, esp in public places.

  • Anonymous

    You need some serious guidance as, how to go about conveying your point of view…. My only question ” Were western societies really not having these issues before the onslaught of Pakistani Men?”

  • Georget

    Muslims in general have no respect for non-muslim women. They have no respectfor other religions.

    They are trained that way since they are born.

    • Anonymous

      People who make such a “general” statement have not bothered to excercise their brains much. I’m sure they have a brain but it has not been “trained” to think much yet!

    • Katie Johnson

      I totally agree. Pakistani men are primitive predators with the collective IQ of a telegraph pole! The horrific, neanderthal way they treat their women is a testament to their diabolical inability to grasp the western concept of equality, decency and respect for women. The fact that Pakistan is a mysogynistic backwater is because women are not given any say in the running of this primitive country. Pakistani women are so completely subjugated that the country’s national testosterone levels are rampant with disgusting sociopathic males who grow up without any moral code and a huge sense of entitlement. Pakistani males thrive on chaos and violence. It should come to no surprise that the ghastly practise of honour killings, unchecked wholesale slaughter of its women and throwing acid in the face of poor female victims of rape by Paki predators is thriving. These barbaric animals don’t even face justice. No wonder most of the world loathe Pakistan and everything it stands for! The absolute worst news is that these inferior barbarians want to move into our western, Christian communities and spread their sick, twisted views like a cancer! For God’s sake, stay in backwater hick land of Peshawar and don’t move .. we don’t want you here!

  • Virkau

    When a person is not sexually starved such outrageous acts drop. Late marriages, religious dictate, family pressure and white skinned fantasies lead to such acts. Even in countries like Saudi Arabia, when Arab males would flock Bahrain on weekends to be with their Filipino concubines, Pakistani drivers would give ‘service’ to their women at home. Someone asked him if he did not fear execution, if exposed? The simple answer was PAISE BADE DENDI HAI.

  • goira

    The yankies will puit your nuclear weapons in your backside you fool.

  • george

    so, it is not the pakistani men, infact, that naked society should be blamed, where ‘easy meat’ is walking around…naked. have you ever heard of such events occuring in islamic states where women are veiled and none can stare at them……..

    Why don’t you stay in those Islamic countries for God’s sake?

  • student

    I have been abroad and traveled. The staring problem is not just with Pakistani men. Men around the world do it. It can however be related to being educated. Illiterate men do not know the ethics or how to show respect to other women. And as many Pakistani british are here as laborers from illiterate back ground, they act as any illiterate man around the world would. So please stop blaming Pakistani’s and further spoil our country’s image.

  • Saad

    what’s right about the research in this article by the way?? Your selective replies shows you haven’t learn any thing yet, don’t try short cuts in life and ready to face the criticism. You have written this article to get some easy fame on the cost of disgust to Pakistani Nation, If you have some moral courage go and answer to the top responses on this article.

  • Guest

    How do you know the men are staring? Hmm…yeh you are staring right back! So stop staring at the guys and they won’t stare at you. Pathetic article by a pathetic attention seeker! It has nothing to do with the criminals who groomed those poor young girls.

  • Katie Johnson

    Wake up and smell the flowers, Bilal! Pakistanis are primitive mysogynistic barbarians. Why don’t you ALL stay in that backwater and don’t emigrate into western societies that you have no intention of integrating into. The massive chasm between the appalling way you treat your women and civilised western values can NEVER be bridged.

  • Katie Johnson

    The position they have in Pakistan when women are raped, is that it is the WOMAN’S FAULT!! Whether they are related or not, Paki men take on the disgusting stance that it is the woman’s fault that she is raped! It is an unbelievable mysogynistic position to infer that an innocent victim of rape has, somehow, managed to “ask to be raped”. In the end, many of these women are victims of so-called “honour killings” (which are anything but honourable) or have acid thrown in their faces. The perpetrators are often their fathers, brothers, uncles who are ashamed of their wives or daughters who have been victims of rape. It is incredulous! Such is the cowardly nature of Paki men, they have this neanderthal idea that men simply have NO CONTROL over their predatory, primal urges and it is not their fault if they give in to these animal urges. Get real! What does this tell you about Pakistani men? It tells me, and the world, that Pakistani men are cruel, primitive and sub-human. This is the general view of Pakistan – it won’t change until YOU change!

    • Anonymous

      Ms Johnson
      You are as good at generalising as Haroon72 and my simple brain has issues with that misandry as much as it has with misogyny.

      If your argument is valid then I guess all those non-Pakistani men in jails around the world for their henious crimes against women, must be innocent.

  • Anonymous

    Misogyny, misandry, racism – not quite the banner for civilised society or Christian values . What makes you so superior and self-righteous?! Or is Australian history re-written just like Pakistani history?!

    • Katie Johnson

      Qalim, who are YOU to preach to me about Christian values? This is a democracy and I can say anything I like! I stand by what I say about mysogynistic Pakistani males and from the comments written above, it looks like I have the support of many people (especially Pakistani women who, I might add, have my deepest sypathy). Superior? Self righteous? No, just stating a fact (known to the western world) that young Muslim males from Pakistan have REAL PROBLEMS with dealing with women on any level. If you don’t like hearing the truth, hey, don’t shoot the messenger! Just ACT on it and do something about it! It all starts from educating your self-entitled sadistic sons to treat women as equals, with respect and dignity! It all starts in YOUR own homes and in YOUR own backyard. Instead of kicking your women around the kitchen, throwing acid in their faces and pounding them into submission, why not LISTEN to them for a change? God knows, it is Pakistani women who seem to have 99% of your country’s intelligence. When you look at the most primitive countries on earth, eg Pakistan, Afghanistan and many African regimes, they are ALL (without exception) governed by mysogynistic regimes who treat women like breeding cows. Yes, Pakistan IS primitive and will stay that way until Paki males stop behaving like uncouth, uneducated barbarians that civilised countries abhor.

      • Anonymous

        Ms Johnson
        I leave the preaching as well as self-righteousness to you along with the arrogance of pronouncing judgements on a whole people. Of course the problems are there and need rectifying but not at the grad scale you paint it out to be. This attitude is little different from the TTP. Perhaps you should visit Pakistan before generalising.

        No intent to usurp your right to an opinion, as I exercise my democratic right to query or challenge your assertions and basis of opinion – just because a handful of people agree with you or me here or in a few articles, does not mean you have the holy grail of truth on the whole matter. I beleive in humans of all genders to be generally good (across the globe) and not sekectively evil in some parts of the world according to gender – else there will be no point being in this world.

  • M.Saeed

    Katie, you are an imposter or a disgruntled Paki-lover. Otherwise, you would not have spent time regularly visiting this, according to your own judgement, filthy obnoxious Paki blog-site.

  • Anonymous

    Ms Johnson
    A miracle indeed! Considering you survived to tell the tale when by your own account, acid in the face or other worse assaults would not have been unexpected.

    Judging Australians as a whole in the light of Stolen Generations of Children or all the Catholic Church as a whole as perverted paedophiles is as despicable a generalisation for me, as your blanket assessment of all Pakistani males. Perhaps it is too much to expect reason when prejudice is running high!

    • Katie Johnson

      Grow up, Qalim! Your Mohammed was married to a 9 year old innocent child, so I guess this puts him well and truly into the paedophile category, eh?

  • yousuf

    I had lived in London for around 5 years and one thing which i have noticed about Pakistani community was lack of education and class. The major chunk who immigrated in late 60′s and early 70′s were mostly blue collars from Azad Kashmir, Mirpur and from some rural areas of Punjab. They some how managed to accumulate wealth but were unable to integrate into British culture. These so called British nationals (immigrants from Mirpur, etc) encourage people from from there own localities and areas to come to Britain and earn there bread and butter. They had created there own world in Britian and and still face adaptability issues. The Point which I would like to clear is that you cant be judgmental or present a generic statement blaming the whole nation. Perhaps this is one of the cumulative effects of all those years which is now playing up with the Britain society.

  • sammy

    isn’t it just funny that when it comes to a sex crime committed by any person of an asian background or is muslim, it is mentioned in an article over and over again, whereas if it is a sex crime committed by an ethnically white person, and they may be a christian or a jew or any religion, they would not even mention the religion in there.
    The worst thing is that it is so obvious and people are ignoring it.