The Ugly Ducklings of Bollywood

on 6, Dec 2011 | 2 Comments | in Category: Limelight

Sami Saayer

Sami Saayer

ugly

Schools in Dubai have an interesting policy. Some schools only give admission to the kids whose elder siblings are already studying in that school. Similar is the story of Bollywood. If an elder sibling is already part of the inner circles of Bollywood and moreover, is successful, chances are that other siblings will get entry rather easily. The likes of a Kareena Kapoor following the success of her sister Karishma Kapoor in style are less likely (and for that you have to be a Kapoor). More often than not, you end up becoming one of the mega failures mentioned in the list below.

 
Here are the top ten not-so-popular siblings of successful bollywood stars.

 
10. Shamita Shetty

 
You know something is wrong when you make your debut with a Yash Raj mega project like Mohabbatein, sharing screen space with bollywood biggies SRK and Amitabh Bachan and then don’t get another film for another two years. What’s even worse is that even after those two years, all you get is ‘Sharara Sharara’ and another item number in Saathiya. By this time your ‘infamous’ photo with a certain Bhatt was more popular than your acting skills.

 

 

 

Luckily, her elder sister does not have much to her credit either, except for an arguably perfect figure and a Big Brother UK win. While the elder sister is now running a restaurant business and judging reality shows, the younger one is looking for a career in interior design. Hopefully, the interior designs will not be as disappointing as her career in bollywood.

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 55%

Failure Index: 70%

Failure Rating: 63%

 

9. Ashmit Patel

 

 

You got a hit early with Murder, but then you saw the career graph of co-actors Emraan Hashmi and Mallika Sherawat go up while yours went down. You then tried the serial kisser approach employed by Emraan, but unfortunately miscalculated and did it off-screen, only to get caught in an MMS scandal. As if that wasn’t enough, you tried your hands at being an Assistant Director and ended up making films like Awaara Paagal Deewana and Aap Mujhay Achay Lagne Lagay which turned out to be as bad as your acting.

 

 

Despite these epic failures, he didn’t give up and instead, gave Pakistani actresses a shot. His ‘Meera Ji’ stunt failed but the ‘Veena Ji’ stunt turned out to become quite popular among Pakistani’s. What went wrong in the whole process was that people actually forgot that he actually was an actor once. In the words of his very own Veena…

 

 

“Ashmit ji… ye kya baat huee?”

Successful Sibling Success Index: 55%

Failure Index: 75%

Failure Rating: 65%

 

 

8. Esha Deol

 

 

 

 

You are a Deol for heaven’s sake. The daughter of Veeru and Basanti! You don’t just have a responsibility towards your siblings but also towards your parents. We understand that ‘Deol Can’t Dance Sala’ but why would you not care to put some effort into your acting?

 

 

 

Esha should thank her stars for Dhoom and No Entry, even though she was hardly the reason for their success. How many launches and re-launches do you need to know that you just can’t won’t make it. Another relaunch by Basanti herself, made us want to say ‘Don’t Tell Me O Esha’ instead of Tell Me O Khuda.

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 65%

Failure Index: 70%

Failure Rating: 68%

 

 

7. Rinky Khanna

 

 

You are the daughter of Kaka and Dimple. That makes a picturesque pairing, doesn’t it? You followed Esha Deol’s path and won the Best Debut: Popular Award, but then you decided to follow her on other things too. Your sister (who is quite pretty) has a unique record of giving flops with both Aamir and Shahrukh. While your sister played wise and ended up marrying a jackpot, you also tied the knot just in time seeing as your career was going nowhere. To be fair, your films were not all that bad. They just lacked the success factor and were so ineffective that I am struggling to write anything about you. Hope you are having a nice married life, Khushi.

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 60%

Failure Index: 80%

Failure Rating: 70%

 

 

6. Siddharth Koirala
Your wiki page says you are a film actor. That’s fine, but when we look at your films this claim sounds too tall. How can someone with films likePaisa Wasool, Fun and Dekh Bhai Dekh be called an actor. At best you should be called a wannabe actor. Your sister, at one point was the best actress in the industry, with three Filmfare awards to her credit and movies like Bombay, Company, Khamoshi and Agni Sakshi. Your Grandfather and two uncles have been Prime Ministers of Nepal. Try your luck in politics maybe?

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 70%

Failure Index: 75%

Failure Rating: 73%

5. Sanjay Kapoor

 

The biggest achievement of your life was marrying Maheep Sandhu (she was quite a hottie at some point.) However, your actor and producer brothers could not do anything about your career because your acting skills were as good as my cat’s barking skills. Your Prem did not get anyprem from the audience just like so many other movies of yours. Raja did well, but you had nothing to do with it. Are you sure you weren’t adopted? Because Anil has 6 Filmfare awards to his name and has acted in films you can’t even imagine about.

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 80%

Failure Index: 70%

Failure Rating: 75%

 

 

4. Sohail Khan

 

 

Congratulations. You have won the award for The Most Irritating Khan in the industry. Have you tried singing? No? Why not? Because you have had a go at acting and writing and you suck at both. You were in the movie called Do Knot Disturb then why did you disturb us with your acting in the film? The only thing you were decent at was direction but you have already quit that for acting (that’s just awesome). Exactly how many more lousy performances before you decide to call it quits? Fortunately for you, your brother really cares for you.

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 90%

Failure Index: 70%

Failure Rating: 80%

 

 

3. Tanisha Mukherjee

 

 

Kill me for I saw Neal and Nikki, the worst possible excuse for a movie. Your skin show in the film was just as horrible as your acting. You are the daughter of Tanuja, niece of Nutan and Kajol’s sister for God’s sake. Nutan has as many Filmfare Awards as are the number of your films; eleven. Even your elder sister has 5 Filmfare awards to her name. So what went wrong with you? There are several stars whose siblings are not good at acting, which is why they decided to stay away from the film line and made a name for themselves in something they were good at. Why on earth did you not do the same?

 

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 85%

Failure Index: 85%

Failure Rating: 85%

 

 

2. Uday Chopra

 

 

If we were to make a battalion of disappointing star children/siblings, you will be given the command of that force. Yes, you are that damned good. To set the premise, do you know Yash Chopra? He is your dad. He has made Amitabh Bachan and SRK what they are today. Do you know Aditya Chopra? He is your brother and also one of the most powerful men in the industry. He created DDLJ. If they can do this for others then did you ever ask them why they couldn’t do it for you? I’m sure you did and that’s why they gave you a shot at everything. Several films and then a production and writing stint ‘Pyar Impossible’ (watching which was also impossible). I would advise you to stick to the Dhoomfranchise and do not disturb otherwise. It has been speculated that you are now focusing on film direction and studying for it at UCLA? God help us.

 

Successful Sibling Success Index: 95%

Failure Index: 85%

Failure Rating: 90%

 

 

1.Faisal Khan

 

 

The world could not see drastically opposite talent under one roof. Born just one year after Aamir Khan, you should be publicly lynched for your acting in Mela and Madhosh.You were so bad that your own family decided not to give you a chance again. If only you were Salman Khan’s brother, you would have worked in many more films, but Aamir Khan is (thankfully) different from Salman and has some mercy on the public. There is a bit of your fault in that too though. What were you thinking when you sent threatening letters to Aamir 7 years back?

 
Successful Sibling Success Index: 100%

Failure Index: 100%

Failure Rating: 100%



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  • Lubnajnaqvi

    wow I am officially a fan..I love your style of writing it is so refreshing :D

  • fahad khan

    All are the best in all movies in India.

    Club A1 price

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