No marriage for me!


No marriage for me!

“If it were up to me…I won’t get married in the next five years.’ I casually expressed my opinion during a discussion on a girl who was getting married the next week. I was not expecting the meaningful silence that followed, and then the barrage of comments. ‘Really?’ ‘Why not? You are in Masters and took a year’s break after Bachelors, so must be around 24…do you plan to get married when you’re 30? Who will marry you then?’ I stared at the perky girls, dressed in jeans and latest tops, not really believing that the fashionable and ‘modern’ girls of Kinnaird College were saying these things. ‘Well, I want to achieve some things in my life first, and getting married is not on the top list right now.’ I replied, a bit sharply this time and in a tone that dictated that the discussion is over.

 

But the incident forced me to remember things to I never paid any attention earlier on, like a smug and intolerable 26 year old cousin of mine, a mother of three; constantly asking me, ‘so what’s the plan– engaged yet?’ Is that how a girl’s achievements are measured, even those of the modern ones? The ones who proudly promote feminism and are all for the concept of working women, choosing their own life partners, equal rights in marriage, and having their own lives after marriage?

 

Surprisingly it was a male friend of mine who offered the most reasonable explanation for this saying girls are taught right from the very beginning that they should achieve what they want to, have a job, secure higher degrees, but the ultimate goal is—marriage. According to him, I am a nature’s abnormality, not wanting to get married at all. ‘Not even for kids?’ he asked me, ‘I am told that kids are a woman’s weakness.’ Well, maybe I am weird, maybe I am unnatural, call me crazy but I don’t think kids are any reason to get married, or to stay in a marriage. My mother seems constantly engaged in looking for a proposal for me as well, and I invest my energies praying with all my heart she doesn’t find one until five years are gone. Because being a ‘good’ daughter, I cannot say no to them, and so don’t want to make my parents face the taunts of our relatives, I smiled and replied to my cousin the next time she worried about my plans for marriage, ‘Well, there are achievements in life, other than producing three children in four years!’



contributes for The News Blog


  • Jawad

    Couldn’t agree more…

  • Madiha Mubeen

    I really cant understand why we mix up things. I mean hwat on earth its been written that for a bright career dont go for marriage. I mean this is the biggest misunderstanding in our generation, quite common. Life is a cake, why, we the empowered females, run from tasting it……

  • Saifmansoor

    completely agree with you but life for a guy with all the freedom is also not as easy as you might think it is, try putting yourself in the shoes of a person who is not very ambitious about his career but will have a constant family pressure to get a higher salary or get the best professional degree and then obviously comes the question k ” beta shaadi kab karo ge”. so if it makes you feel any better, position of guys might not be as difficult as that of ambitious women but it is not much easier either

  • Annonymous

    When a person thinks he is on top of everything and he knows everything, basically it is an indication that he knows nothing. He is been fooled by his arrogance of the illusion that he is the most knowledgeable creature. Haven’t you met an illiterate person denying the scientific proven laws because, HE thinks that they are wrong.

    Well same is the case here, humans are social animals. The most important thing for them is social gathering and marriage is the only way that can be achieve it in long term. An unmarried person is and will always be alone in his/her life especially when the parents die. Just see the foreign cultures. They have everything but depression and insomnia is their biggest problem, so big that they even commit suicides. They are richer and more literate than us, they are professionals have achieved their so called PRIORITIES of life but they are alone and SO THEY ARE NOT HAPPY.

    Please take off the glasses of short-termism and see things in a bigger perspective. You can live happily without a degree or a profession but you can not live happily “alone in a house arrest”